Unbalanced

Egads... I haven't blogged in a week. Whoops. I had a hard week last week, not something I particularly want to get into the nitty-gritty details of, but I came out of last week feeling acutely unbalanced... and despite my valiant efforts to balance myself in recent months... the psychological help, the medication, and all... while there has been some notable improvement, things aren't really all that much better in a practical day to day get things done sense.

Why is it that one week, I am extremely productive? I spend the appropriate time working, I'm able to keep my apartment fairly organized and can keep up with my laundry and dishes... and then I slide back into the funk where I sit at my computer chair for hours on end staring at the wall, flipping mindlessly through twenty different open applications and browser windows, not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing, but feeling great anxiety that I should be doing something and occasionally wandering around aimlessly around the apartment... WHY?!

I don't understand this about myself, and I feel utterly powerless to make it stop happening. Something has to change... but what? My options feel narrow right now...